What causes you to judge yourself? And how do you stop?

By Dr GaryCA Latest Activity January 14, 2016 at 11:01 am Views 813 Replies 3 Likes 1

Dr Gary

“That was good.”

“That was bad.”

“Wow, that was stupid.”

It seems like I read a lot of posts about negative self-judgments from our members. Like when a member has numbers that aren’t what they need to be. Or has slipped on their self-care. Or maybe when someone else, like a doctor, has criticized them.

Listen to your own self-talk sometime. And when you do, take a look at how often you speak to yourself with a voice of judgment. Good, bad, smart, stupid… words of judgment regarding other people, and words of judgment applied to yourself. The judgments just keep coming.

In my experience, individuals living with chronic conditions are especially prone toward judging themselves. It comes from constantly being told to monitor yourself for symptoms, as well as having to follow guidelines for treatment compliance and self-care. All that self-evaluation can lead to judging yourself. “What did I do well?” but also “What did I do badly?” Your doctor or family members may heap on judgments of their own.

Breaking the judgment cycle starts with curbing the urge to judge yourself. I posted an article awhile back on this topic. Here’s a link:

http://www.multiplesclerosisconnect.com/multi...

Now, what about you. Do you find yourself slipping into self-judgment? What causes you to judge yourself? When you feel like you have slipped up on your self-care? Or do you have people who say things to you that cause you to judge yourself?

What do you do when you find yourself falling into self-judgment?

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Replies (3 replies)

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  • Didiamond13
    Didiamond13 January 12, 2017 at 2:16 am   

    My self confidence is nothing since my MS has got so bad i honestly believe my IQ has dropped 100 points since the onset of my MS in 2013 i call myself stupid a 1000 times a day cause i forget something or i stumble over my own feet or just do something crazy when this disease hurts you so bad you feel its taking life away from you and you get so angry at yourself cause you cant do what you used to do how do you not judge yourself you feel like you have become nothing how do you get pass that

  • jefff
    jefff January 15, 2016 at 6:02 pm   

    Well…you're right again DrGary and I can't (or don't know how to) control it since it's been apart of my DNA (if you know what I mean!) since I was born. I've always had this "self-judging type personality (51 years) and I've spoken about to Therapists for the past 30+ years, but can't seem to get a handle on it. Now add what my physicians are telling me to do and how to track whatever is going on and I'm even more doomed to the "self-judging failure BUG" that I've learned to become over the years.

    Oh well, I work on it and I'm aware of it, but I'm NOT sure if there's anything I can do changing it since it's "who I am!!!"

    Sorry if that's not the answer you wanted to read/hear, but I'm being truthful at least…right?

    Thanks again and have GREAT weekend, jefff

  • Dr Gary
    Dr GaryCA January 29, 2016 at 9:52 pm   

    Hey Jeff! Thanks for the reply. I totally understand what you are saying here. That tendency toward self-judgment is something many people deal with. Somewhere along the way in growing up, it gets wired in. But I do think awareness is the first step, catching yourself when you are being judgmental, reminding yourself that there is an alternate way to look at things, practicing being kind to yourself. I know you have probably heard all of this before. But I do think it works. And I hope you have a great weekend!