A hard question: Does your self-care routine ever leave your partner feeling ignored?

By Dr GaryCA Latest Activity March 5, 2017 at 6:32 pm Views 3,198 Replies 2

Dr Gary

Has your partner ever felt like you were more focused on your condition and taking care of yourself than you were on them?

I’ll refer to them as Jack and Laura. Jack was diagnosed with a chronic condition a few years ago. As a result, he has a lot of self-care responsibilities, which greatly impact his life. And as a result, Laura’s life.

During our conversation, Laura described a recent day that had left her feeling especially frustrated. She had picked their children up from daycare on her way home from work. They arrived to find Jack in his and Laura’s bedroom, with the door closed. When she asked him if he was okay, he informed her that he wanted to spend the evening alone to rest and do some research on a new treatment that interested him. The next day, Saturday, Jack had scheduled a session with a practitioner of natural medicine, and wasn’t able to help Laura with the kids.

Laura talked about how frustrated she felt. “I know your health needs to be a priority,” she said to him. “But what about us?” She went on to say that she would be happy to sit down next to him while he surfs the web for treatment information. And couldn’t that Saturday session have been scheduled for another day?

I often talk to clients about the importance of taking responsibility for their health. But I also saw how Laura felt sidelined, and left to do the heavy lifting at home.

Here’s a link to a recent article:


Have you and your partner ever felt like Jack and Laura? Do you find it hard to make your health a priority while still give your partner the attention he/she needs? And do you feel your partner always understand when you need to make your health a priority?

Really looking forward to hearing from you on this one!

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Replies (2 replies)

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  • Karolyn T
    Karolyn T July 11, 2017 at 10:23 am   

    I find it hard living apart from my children and home from my ex-husband. I have to try to mend them from gangfire of relatives and make them understand the dangers they are doing to us. I am now getting deformed and crippled by the visions and instructions that I have had, not to mention bad psychosis medicines that I was forced upon by my ex-husband and girlfriends. What kind of avenue do you suggest to take if I can't move to another location?

  • Dr Gary
    Dr GaryCA August 5, 2017 at 9:21 pm   

    Hey Karolyn, thanks so much for checking in here. And it's nice to meet you, too! I am sorry to hear you are living away from your children, and that you are having some MS symptoms. You are dealing with a lot. Do you have any support where you are living? Friends or family you can sit down with and talk things out? You might also see if you can get connected with a counselor. It just seems like you could really benefit from some support right now. I hope you will stay in touch with us and let us know how you are doing. You are not alone, my friend.